Welcome To Schnitzel N Tits - Friday Nights in the City!

MELBOURNE’S BEST FRIDAY NIGHT OUT

Friday night in Melbourne just got cheekier! Bring a mate or a date and leave your inhibitions at the door for a night of...
THE BEST BREASTS IN TOWN

Chicken or eggplant schnitzel served with crispy chips, garden fresh salad and your choice of sauce to help you keep your strength up for...
ALL THE ATTENTION YOU NEED

Our naughty but nice barmaid babes and topless waitresses will be on hand throughout the night to take good care of you and your...

SCHNITZEL ‘N TITS – A NIGHT OUT TO REMEMBER

Melbourne’s best theatre restaurant is the iconic and official Schnitzel n Tits! Have you been yet? Curious? Here’s how it works

  • Doors Open at 7pm
  • First show starts at 8pm sharp
  • Three burlesque performances
  • Babelicious Topless Barmaids, full table service
  • Delicious Schnitzel topped with gravy and served with chips & salad
  • Games, crowd participation and..
  • Most importantly; you’ll have a blast!

Check our what some of our Facebook friends think…

Riley is great but she kicked me only because is doing her job because I had one too many I will be back for sure
Trenten King
Trenten King
2017-10-20T11:47:19+0000
Riley is the most awesome chick ever she helped us out so much and showed us where the good places are 🙂
Send-it Rorza
Send-it Rorza
2017-10-20T11:44:04+0000
Been here yearly for about 4 years Fun night out
Corinna Borg
Corinna Borg
2017-08-17T07:41:28+0000
Was an awesome night! We were definitely looked after and will be returning!
Bethany Joy Kazi
Bethany Joy Kazi
2017-08-06T13:21:34+0000
Awesome night out. Great laughs and floor show. We went with a group for our daughters birthday..we were the oldest there but still enjoyed body shots and lots of laughter. Food was surprisingly good too.If your lookimg for something different this is it.Would def go again. Thanks everyone for an awesome night.read more
Kym Dollan
Kym Dollan
2017-07-29T23:24:52+0000
I think this is one if the most funnest places i have been to. I want to go back!!! Do yourself a favour and try it....
Susan Schott Dodd
Susan Schott Dodd
2017-07-29T09:49:41+0000
Amazeballs!!! 3rd time I've been and there will be a 4th, 5th.. Hell every weekend!
Steve Steverson
Steve Steverson
2017-07-28T12:56:49+0000
I've been twice for birthdays and both nights have been absolutely fabulous and amazing the girls are very friendly awesome and accommodating it's one of the best places I've ever been too you're always in for a great and fun filled night cheers and thanks ladies I highly recommend this wonderful placeread more
Shaun Maher
Shaun Maher
2017-07-07T14:56:15+0000
Awesome way to start off a night out, the staff is all friendly and making sure you are having a great night
Crystallee Durose
Crystallee Durose
2017-07-01T09:34:54+0000
Great night out, great service all night. The whole crew had an awesome time and will definately be back soon
Joshua Hill
Joshua Hill
2017-06-30T05:21:09+0000
Great fun night!! The schnitzel is really tasty, the girls are gorgeous and great fun. Would definitely recommend for a group event, leave your inhibitions at the door and enjoy the show!read more
Rhiannon Jones
Rhiannon Jones
2017-06-16T13:40:46+0000
Had an awesome night. The Schnitz was delicious and the girls were great 😉✨
Alana Jade
Alana Jade
2017-06-03T22:53:28+0000
I have done two group booking with schnitzel n tits both of the time they have really enjoy themselves They said everyone was nice and friendly and the games and activities were fun Also you're response time was fantasticread more
Amanda Durose
Amanda Durose
2017-05-26T08:54:52+0000
Awesome food even better staff. Great for functions and group bookings. Thanks again guys 🙂
Baxter Arafat
Baxter Arafat
2017-05-25T03:12:24+0000
Such a good night. The birthday boy loved it. The girls were lovely and the performances were impressive. Loved the theme and the vibe. Humorous and fun. Would be really good for any bucks. Felt very welcomed.read more
Sarah Buller
Sarah Buller
2017-05-13T13:33:04+0000
A good time had!! Staff were friendly and show was fun.
Maddison Price
Maddison Price
2017-04-29T12:13:26+0000
Came here last night for my partners birthday. Had a amazing night, the girls were not only beautiful on the outside but in as well. Food was so good , recommend it to everyone and we're coming back .read more
Deborah Lee Nouws
Deborah Lee Nouws
2017-02-24T21:24:20+0000
Sarah, joe and bella are the bomb!! We had a great time on our work break up.
Stephen King
Stephen King
2016-12-22T11:52:56+0000
Best food, service and undoubtedly the best night Melbourne can offer
James Alexander Pewtner
James Alexander Pewtner
2016-12-02T11:29:10+0000
Came here for my birthday yesterday and it was better than I thought it would be despite having been here last year! The girls are beautiful and are soooo nice. The showgirls were absolutely incredible and I found them to be somewhat inspiring! Hehe 5/5 loved it, can't wait to come back again.read more
Donna McIntyre
Donna McIntyre
2016-11-19T12:14:41+0000
The most down to earth ppl run it & amazing stuff
Mick El Asmar
Mick El Asmar
2016-11-12T10:06:46+0000
This place is the Schnitz!! This place is the Schnitz!! This place is the Schnitz!!
Michael Wickens
Michael Wickens
2016-10-29T10:44:29+0000
Me and a few boys went out for dinner here a couple of weeks ago, great night out with the boys, awesome show provided and top notch food!
Tran Le John Oh
Tran Le John Oh
2016-06-21T08:58:23+0000
Great vibe and fun vibe! Great night out with the boys.
Nick Camov
Nick Camov
2016-06-20T02:16:08+0000
Me and the boys had an awesome night at Schnitz n Tits - It was 3 hours of fun and games and a seriously great night out. It is fun for both guys and girls, I was surprised at first that so many girls were there as guests, but after being a part of shenanigans I realised it is a lot of fun and games and a decent feed at the same time. Highly recommend for a Friday night activity.read more
Brennan Lukav
Brennan Lukav
2016-06-20T02:08:00+0000
A fun filled night enjoyed by all!! Schnitzels on point, better than you'd think! Grab your mates and have a great evening.
Damien Egan
Damien Egan
2016-06-20T01:53:33+0000
Great night and feed will be back at some time cheers for the night
Russell Auger
Russell Auger
2016-06-04T09:55:13+0000
The best! I love working here as a feature performer. The management is really helpful and friendly! It gets pretty wild in there!
Frankie J Blaze
Frankie J Blaze
2016-03-19T06:55:25+0000
We all had a great night out for hubby's 40th birthday with a few games alot of different entertainment & laughter would recommend this for any occasion !!!read more
Brenda Stevens-Bruce
Brenda Stevens-Bruce
2016-02-06T00:16:22+0000
BEST FOOD! Wicked games. Beautiful ladies will definatly be there again!!!
Maxii Moss
Maxii Moss
2015-11-06T23:43:45+0000
Best night girls are so friendly wife loved it and so did I .Wife loved doing body shots
Micky Hill
Micky Hill
2015-10-16T00:23:46+0000
Schnitz n Tits is one of the best nights in Melbourne! Great food, fun games, and cute girls! I had a great time!
Fairuz Maggio
Fairuz Maggio
2015-09-21T08:55:27+0000
Fantastic night out , hot waitresses hot performers, host is a funny bastard. Great night. Well worth it. Will be back again schnitz n tits I will be back.read more
Mark Oakley
Mark Oakley
2015-08-14T07:08:55+0000
An awesome place for a night out cant wait to do it again
Joshua Piacentini
Joshua Piacentini
2015-07-17T23:05:07+0000
One of the best nights out you can ask for! Lots of laughs, great food and wonderful service! Thanks for a memorable night!
Jessie Cripps
Jessie Cripps
2015-06-20T01:38:14+0000
I can't recommend this place enough, it was so much fun , went with a bunch of girls and we all had a blast, if you feel like doing some thing different, have a laugh this is the place!read more
Samantha Chandrasena
Samantha Chandrasena
2015-04-27T10:44:18+0000
A very fantastic night cant wait to do it all again very soon
Ashley Angwin
Ashley Angwin
2015-03-20T18:56:24+0000
So much fun best night ever... body shots where so good ♡
Alyssa Kazi-Shedden
Alyssa Kazi-Shedden
2015-02-13T20:36:52+0000
Awesome night, I was thinking it might not be the best place for a date but it was absolutely brilliant 🙂 the acts were superb and the kahuna daddies were the right amount of cheese lol I recommend schnitz to all my mates now 🙂 and the bar staff are extremely attentive which you don't get elsewhereread more
Daniel Dunker
Daniel Dunker
2014-09-26T22:25:38+0000
I thought this thing sounded sleazy and cheesy. It is a bit cheesy but thats part of the fun - actually a great night out for guys and also, surprisingly, for girls. On the night I went I talked to these hipster chicks at one table who came to be ironic but stayed to drink and laugh. They were as impressed as I was by what is more like a racy theatre restaurant than a strip club. Great schnitzel too!read more
Joe Fitzgerald
Joe Fitzgerald
2014-09-20T05:11:31+0000
Best dinner show in Melbourne!!! Well worth the booking, tittie shots!!
Jay Chris
Jay Chris
2014-08-05T14:38:55+0000
Best night out ever! Girls are gorgeous and sexy, schnitzels are to die for everyone there is so friendly and kind I will be back 🙂
Chris John
Chris John
2014-05-23T15:54:45+0000
A great night out, no matter which location it's held in. The waitresses are gorgeous and will actually have a chat and a laugh with you. The acts are entertaining and creative. Even the food is great! If you are looking for an awesome time on a Friday night, don't go past Schnitz n Tits.read more
Jayden Lofaro
Jayden Lofaro
2014-03-19T02:11:24+0000
Schnitz and tits is the best dinner and a show that I've been to with my mates. The acts are hot and the service is good. It is one the best ways of spending Friday night in the city.read more
Callum Timmerman
Callum Timmerman
2014-03-19T01:47:49+0000
Funniest bunch of people you will ever eat with!
Kevin Karlberg
Kevin Karlberg
2014-02-26T07:48:24+0000

Schnitzel n Tits is at The Colonial Hotel on the corner of Lonsdale and King st Melbourne every Friday night. Whether you’re there for a Birthday Party, a special occasion, after work drinks or a date with a difference our dinner and show is sure to tickle your fancy.

Schnitzel n Tits entertainment can be anything from Burlesque to cheeky striptease studded with exclusive circus acts, live comedy, jelly wrestling and some of the best pole dancers and contortionists in Melbourne.

Great food, cheeky fun, all night drink specials… sound good?  That’s Schnitzel ‘n Tits!

Birthdays, work gatherings, Bucks Parties and Hens Nights are welcome. We’re experienced in catering to large bookings and individuals’ special requirements.

Schnitzel ‘n Tits: a topless bar & theatre restaurant with a difference!

 

SEE UPCOMING EVENTS!