Unique theatre restaurant & topless bar Melbourne

CALL - 1800 808 998

1800 808 998

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Address: Colonial Hotel 585 Lonsdale St Melbourne VIC 3000 Australia

Tel: 1800 808 998
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4.2

Schnitzel n Tits

4.2

Kym Dollan
2017-07-29T23:24:52+0000

Awesome night out. Great laughs and floor show. We went with a group for our daughters birthday..we were the oldest there but still enjoyed body shots and lots of laughter. Food was surprisingly good too.If your lookimg for something different this is it.Would def go again. Thanks everyone for an awesome night.read more

Susan Schott Dodd
2017-07-29T09:49:41+0000

I think this is one if the most funnest places i have been to. I want to go back!!! Do yourself a favour and try it....read more

Shaun Maher
2017-07-07T14:56:15+0000

I've been twice for birthdays and both nights have been absolutely fabulous and amazing the girls are very friendly awesome and accommodating it's one of the best places I've ever been too you're always in for a great and fun filled night cheers and thanks ladies I highly recommend this wonderful placeread more

Crystallee Durose
2017-07-01T09:34:54+0000

Awesome way to start off a night out, the staff is all friendly and making sure you are having a great nightread more

Joshua Hill
2017-06-30T05:21:09+0000

Great night out, great service all night. The whole crew had an awesome time and will definately be back soonread more

Rhiannon Jones
2017-06-16T13:40:46+0000

Great fun night!! The schnitzel is really tasty, the girls are gorgeous and great fun. Would definitely recommend for a group event, leave your inhibitions at the door and enjoy the show!read more

Amanda Durose
2017-05-26T08:54:52+0000

I have done two group booking with schnitzel n tits both of the time they have really enjoy themselves They said everyone was nice and friendly and the games and activities were fun Also you're response time was fantasticread more

Sarah Buller
2017-05-13T13:33:04+0000

Such a good night. The birthday boy loved it. The girls were lovely and the performances were impressive. Loved the theme and the vibe. Humorous and fun. Would be really good for any bucks. Felt very welcomed.read more

Deborah Lee Nouws
2017-02-24T21:24:20+0000

Came here last night for my partners birthday. Had a amazing night, the girls were not only beautiful on the outside but in as well. Food was so good , recommend it to everyone and we're coming back .read more

Donna McIntyre
2016-11-19T12:14:41+0000

Came here for my birthday yesterday and it was better than I thought it would be despite having been here last year! The girls are beautiful and are soooo nice. The showgirls were absolutely incredible and I found them to be somewhat inspiring! Hehe 5/5 loved it, can't wait to come back again.read more

Tran Le John Oh
2016-06-21T08:58:23+0000

Me and a few boys went out for dinner here a couple of weeks ago, great night out with the boys, awesome show provided and top notch food!read more

Brennan Lukav
2016-06-20T02:08:00+0000

Me and the boys had an awesome night at Schnitz n Tits - It was 3 hours of fun and games and a seriously great night out. It is fun for both guys and girls, I was surprised at first that so many girls were there as guests, but after being a part of shenanigans I realised it is a lot of fun and games and a decent feed at the same time. Highly recommend for a Friday night activity.read more

Damien Egan
2016-06-20T01:53:33+0000

A fun filled night enjoyed by all!! Schnitzels on point, better than you'd think! Grab your mates and have a great evening.read more

Frankie J Blaze
2016-03-19T06:55:25+0000

The best! I love working here as a feature performer. The management is really helpful and friendly! It gets pretty wild in there!read more

Brenda Stevens-Bruce
2016-02-06T00:16:22+0000

We all had a great night out for hubby's 40th birthday with a few games alot of different entertainment & laughter would recommend this for any occasion !!!read more

Fairuz Maggio
2015-09-21T08:55:27+0000

Schnitz n Tits is one of the best nights in Melbourne! Great food, fun games, and cute girls! I had a great time!read more

Mark Oakley
2015-08-14T07:08:55+0000

Fantastic night out , hot waitresses hot performers, host is a funny bastard. Great night. Well worth it. Will be back again schnitz n tits I will be back.read more

Jessie Cripps
2015-06-20T01:38:14+0000

One of the best nights out you can ask for! Lots of laughs, great food and wonderful service! Thanks for a memorable night!read more

Samantha Chandrasena
2015-04-27T10:44:18+0000

I can't recommend this place enough, it was so much fun , went with a bunch of girls and we all had a blast, if you feel like doing some thing different, have a laugh this is the place!read more

Daniel Dunker
2014-09-26T22:25:38+0000

Awesome night, I was thinking it might not be the best place for a date but it was absolutely brilliant :-) the acts were superb and the kahuna daddies were the right amount of cheese lol I recommend schnitz to all my mates now :-) and the bar staff are extremely attentive which you don't get elsewhereread more

Joe Fitzgerald
2014-09-20T05:11:31+0000

I thought this thing sounded sleazy and cheesy. It is a bit cheesy but thats part of the fun - actually a great night out for guys and also, surprisingly, for girls. On the night I went I talked to these hipster chicks at one table who came to be ironic but stayed to drink and laugh. They were as impressed as I was by what is more like a racy theatre restaurant than a strip club. Great schnitzel too!read more

Chris John
2014-05-23T15:54:45+0000

Best night out ever! Girls are gorgeous and sexy, schnitzels are to die for everyone there is so friendly and kind I will be back :)read more

Jayden Lofaro
2014-03-19T02:11:24+0000

A great night out, no matter which location it's held in. The waitresses are gorgeous and will actually have a chat and a laugh with you. The acts are entertaining and creative. Even the food is great! If you are looking for an awesome time on a Friday night, don't go past Schnitz n Tits.read more

Callum Timmerman
2014-03-19T01:47:49+0000

Schnitz and tits is the best dinner and a show that I've been to with my mates. The acts are hot and the service is good. It is one the best ways of spending Friday night in the city.read more

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4.6

Schnitzel n Tits - Theatre Restaurant and Great Birthday Party Experience

4.6

Clark Irwin
07:21 20 Sep 16

I took my wife on our first date here and then proposed to here at the same table 2 years later and had my bucks night here! My wife and I come here every year for our anniversary dinner!! I cant wait to bring our little fella here for his 18th! its a family tradition!read more

angie taylor
04:32 16 Jul 14

Been to a couple of these nights now and honestly its the best fun we have had in ages!!!!! Gorgeous girls great performances and delicious schnitzels. Pretty sure we were having more fun than the boys. I highly recommend this night for birthdays or hens etc. will definitely be back. read more

Sharon Kearney
05:58 18 May 17

Fantastic night of laughs, music, entertainment, food and drinks. Not to mention how amazing the schnitzels were (the best we've ever had!) Hassle free booking, which is fantastic for a large group and we have already got our next group lined up to return, cause it was simply so much fun. I highly recommend booking your next event there. It was a perfect venue for my husbands surprise 40th birthday and the staff did everything to ensure we were catered for, including the entertainers, who were simply amazing and delivered a well dignified show.read more

Jayden Lofaro
02:05 23 May 17

Incredible night out! I have been before and will be going again. The shows are great and the food is much better than you'd expect for an included meal. The waitresses are what makes the night special. They are all warm and friendly and stunning. If I could rate it 6 stars, I would.read more

Frank Bono
07:13 25 May 17

Great night out the terrific schnitzel, the staff are funny very friendly.read more

Maxii Moss
04:01 30 May 17

is my home away from home! Best theatre restaurant I have been too, and it's an amazing place to throw a bux, hens, 18th or any kind of celebration! 10/10 do recommend!!read more

Crystallee Durose
00:18 06 Jun 17

amazing place to go out for a girls night & to have fun. the staff is amazing & would highly recommendread more

Matthew East
20:32 20 Jun 17

Heaps of fun. Great show decent food. A great night out for the boys.read more

Amber Wilson
00:48 22 Jun 17

Absolute amazing night out; no stop laughs and fun games. The staff are brilliant; helping with organising your night, waitress are superbly cheeky making the night very enjoyable, MC and performers delivered a magnificent show with plenty of crowd participation. The staff delivers on ensuring everyone will have an absolute amazing night out. Definitely going again!read more

Hayden McQueenie
05:15 26 Jun 17

Always a lot of fun :) the ladies are all stunning and love to make sure that your night is something to remember (y)read more

God Of Rock 1150
00:15 04 Sep 17

Honestly I recommend this to everyone who is looking to have the best time of there life the food is delicious and the staff is kind the barmaids made me feel so comfortable and we're good to chat with, wish I never left because this felt like home 🤘read more

Morse Codes
00:45 04 Sep 17

My boyfriend and I have never done or when to anything like this before and omg it was perfect for us 100% worth going back thereread more

Jessica Friend
05:15 01 Jul 14

We decided to have a girls night out at Schnitz n tits. Even tho it appeared to be a bucks party type of venue it did also have birthdays and other groups in attendance. It was a wild show and we spent most of the night laughing. Its was an excellent night out, thoroughly enjoyed by all. I had an eggplant schnitzel and it was delicious. read more

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