Schnitzel Match Report – Valentines Day 2011

Well, Schnitz n’ Tits just keeps getting better and better!

The post “not so romantic” Valentines Day rendezvous was a huge success. Miss Libertines was pumping with the tunes of Lil’ Roscoe from the 7pm start to stumps. Celebrations were aplenty. People were quite literally celebrating their tits off! There were thirtieths, just over thirtieths, university acceptances, soccer wins, anniversaries and punters just celebrating…BOOBS!!

The first half of the evening was jam packed, with MC Miss Juliette guiding us through odd bits of video footage, accompanied by her sassy crowd participation segments. The beautiful, babelicious barmaids were whizzing around serving everyone their food & drinks until it got so hot for them that items of clothing had to be removed. Ahhhh…the joys of hosting international babes who are not yet acclimatized to our weather. Hooray for Ireland and the USA!!!

The tasty schnitzels were devoured and then we were all slammed with “The Woman In Black”. Her dark, sexy routine left us spellbound. Like a female Zorro, Miss Georgie, slashed her way through the hearts of the crowd, swishing her long black skirt and teasing with a slight flash of fishnet thigh. Who was this woman and where can I get one?

After a quick interval (to catch our breath) we were herded back inside for round two. Games were a plenty, with Miss Juliette putting several couples from the audience on the spot with a rather saucy Schnitz N Tits version of ‘Battle Of The Sexes’ (I hope they’re all still together!). More laughs with a video showing previous audience members caught out on camera in “Dirty Pervs”. I’m quite confident that I’ll be featured heavily in next months version.

This was all building up the anticipation to the next amazing artist, Skarparlava. This European goddess worked the crowd until the men had turned to quivering little boys. Her sultry smile and a wink of those big eyes had the fellas melting off their chairs. Dancing to ‘You Can Leave Your Hat On’, the men were screaming,

“No! No! Take the hat off too! We want to see this vixen from head to toe!”

Naturally, she obliged and treated us to some snazzy gymnast tricks that had the boys cheering for more.
Then the final girl appears.

Ellashaye D’More is like a petite “I Dream Of Jeannie”, pumping her hips through the crowd to the beat of the music leaving all mesmerized. A shimmy of her shoulders and a flash of that gorgeous smile had the crowd hooked. You just want to put her in your pocket and take her home.

Up to the stage, the pint sized performer proceeds to shed down to a bejeweled g-string and then, back into the crowd, she hops onto a table and washes herself (she must have been very dirty)! All this is performed to the song ‘Natural Woman’, which, I have to say, had all the men singing along as they watched this little “Marilyn” soap herself.

With bubbles and suds all over the room the night ended with quite a few red eyes. See what happens when you get too close… Ouch! Ol’ soap eye. Ellashaye had the audience in the palm of one hand, and the worlds luckiest sponge in the other.

Schnitz n’ Tits was, as always, a top night out. All of this on a Tuesday?! I’d hate to think what the weekend would have in store!!