Schnitzel Match Report – October 2011

OUR OCTOBER SHOW BROUGHT PEOPLE IN FROM FAR AND WIDE. IT’S ALWAYS FUN TO ENTERTAIN A MULTI CULTURAL CROWD OF ALL AGES. YOUNG VIRGINAL EIGHTEEN YEAR OLDS FROM HOPPERS CROSSING, TO NON-ENGLISH SPEAKING 107 YEAR OLDS…HOORAY FOR PENSION PAY DAY!

Schnitzel ‘n’ Tits is going strong, and we’ve almost hit our one-year anniversary!

All were dazzled by the hospitality of the Babeliscious barmaids. Everyone succumbed to the rhythms of Lil’ Roscoe, and the crowds sphincters tightened a little when Miss Juliette came near them with her microphone. The schnitzels (delicately crumbed breasts) relieved the hunger and the beer flowed like the urine of an Oktoberfest laden, schnapped up German. Halloween was just around the corner, so it was only fitting that our first performer was some kind of She-Devil sent from the underworld to torment the souls of Schnitzel N Tits patrons.

Lil’ Miss Ruby Q made sinners of them all. Her sultry moves and cheeky come-hither eyes sent every man off to the confessionals… or the bathroom at least. Lil’ Miss Ruby Q cleansed herself by pouring a jug of beer over her nymph like body, making her the golden idol that all men began to worship. That is why Armageddon is just around the corner!

Our second performer, Kelly, showed us how important it is to be sun smart on the beach. Kelly slip, slopped, slapped with her SPF 30 and left the audience panting from the heat. Lets face it… Kelly will make you melt with just a glance. As she removed more items of clothing and writhed her long, muscular pins …it was like the Ozone layer completely ripped apart and fried the red faced crowd, sweat dripping from their brow and their collars being loosened.

We had to cool everything down after our first two acts. And nothings soothes like a nice cold Jelly. Fresh from the fridge, six enormous tubs of jelly thrown into a swimming pool. Raffle tickets had to be sold for this one. That’s right, the lucky winners got to be part of the action. I’m not going to say too much though, some things we like to keep secret. But if you like tight little bikini clad bodies in goo… you might have to put this experience on the bucket list.
AN AMAZING MATCH WAS HAD.

Lock up your daughters… Hell, lock up your whole family! These girls are crazy! And not at all fussy… This was three rounds of slippery, wet, girl on girl action. It’s a huge way to finish a show! Hope to see y’all at the next event!!!