Schnitzel Match Report – July 2012

SCHNITZ ‘N’ TITS, JUST KEEPS COMING BACK!

A brand, spanking new venue gives us the room to devour our debaucherous need of food, booze and women. The Colonial Inn is now the home of Schnitz’n’Tits, right in the heart of Melbourne City.

If you like action, this is where it’s at! A walk to the top floor gets the heart pumping before the girls set your heart racing!

The friendly Babalicious Barmaids escort you to your seat, take your drink order & by the end of the night perform acts on you and your girlfriend that you never would have dreamed!

The Schnitzels are served, Vegetts! Tender, moist chicken… Boobs, Flattened, like Paris Hiltons chest. DJ Lil’ Roscoe, perched high in the centre of the room, spins his feel good discs to keep the mood up & vibed. MC Juliette welcomes you with open arms and explains how the night’s activities will run.

The first eye-popping performance is Josie.

Long dark hair in pig tails, short skirt and armed with a fistful of Chuppa Chups, Josie hula hooped and writhed, jiggled and wiggled and was very good at sharing her lollies with the other kids… a young mans dream and a Fathers worst nightmare.

The next performer was Gracie! Australia’s Miss Pole Fitness legend 2012! Gracie is like a cat. Sleek, muscular and able to perform gravity defying feats with precision and ease. Her strength made even the toughest of men weep with envy. This is a chick you don’t mess with… unless, of course, you have a death wish. Watch her beauty from afar.
THE BIG FINALE FOR A RETURN SEASON WOULD HAVE TO BE THE ALL TIME FAVOURITE, JELLY WRESTING!!!

Team Natasha and Team Alana. Two Buxom lasses ready for the fight. With audience members involved as ‘Towel Boys’, it was a mash of flesh and excited cheers. Flips and slams a plenty in this rumble!

Jelly thrown into the crowd had them sticky and screaming for more. The girls bodies glistened as they tore at each other, a bikini top here, a bikini bottom there, a blow of the whistle and the heaving chests of the exhausted girls bring the games to a close. Until next time!

Lil’ roscoe sees the night through with more dance tunes to finish the night. It was great to see all the familiar faces that have supported Schnitz N Tits over the year and it was great to see some new faces that, I’m sure, will return for more.