Schnitzel Match Report – Jellywrestlemania April 2011

EVEN THE DRIVING RAIN COULDN’T KEEP THE HORDES AWAY FROM MISS LIBERTINES FOR THIS MONTHS SCHNITZ N’ TITS.

The word is out that the chicks are hot and the all girl performers leave you gasping for air. MC, Juliet, got the night off to a great start with a quick spiel on what goes on within these walls, and remember… “What happens in Schnitz N Tits, stays in Schnitz N Tits.“

Back by popular demand was “ Lil’ Miss Ruby Q”. The American based Babe walked every table, wiggled, jiggled and bumped her junk. A vision of Catherine Zeta Jones in Zorro, Lil’ Miss Ruby Q won every mans heart and crotch with a swish of her Spanish skirt, long dark hair and cheeky smile. A big finale with a cracked champagne bottle, left our brazen brunette dripping with suds from tassels to toes, and a group of men wanting to swap their beers for bubbles.

With all the schnitzels devoured, the crowd still had an appetite for more entertainment. Enter Miss Lee. Miss Lee is the reason why you would want to run away with the circus. Hula Hoops, flips and flexibility that puts “Rubber Man” to shame… and, of course, the highlight… pasties that refuse to stay on, exposing nipples that gleamed like Riverina grapes. A brave Miss Lee danced on undeterred. Her amazing talent and easy going persona left the boys cheering for more.

With the crowd fuelled up on grog and testosterone it was time to bring out the competitions. Juliet pitted boyfriend against girlfriend, buddy against pal, in a “How well do you know your partner” game. (Oh, the things we find out about audience members.)
TO FINISH THE NIGHT OFF, A ROUND OF JELLY WRESTLING!

You just have to say the words “Jelly Wrestling”, and a man’s eyes light up. Rock Chick vs Princess. You pick your team. Our towel boys were the lucky winners of the evenings raffle. They got to wipe the jelly from the wrestlers muscular bodies… not a job for the faint hearted, you don’t know what these girls are capable of. Approach slowly and do not make eye contact. The slippery, sugar bodies lasted a whole four rounds, leaving every male on the edge of his seat chomping at the bit. With Jelly strewn from one end of the room to other, the night had come to end. One last bevy for the road so we can sit back and enjoy the sounds of DJ Lil’ Rosco and talk about the things we just witnessed and got to participate in.

Hope to see you all next month and we’ll do it all again!!!!