Schnitzel Match Report – Australia Day 2012

BRING ON 2012 WE SAY! IF THIS WERE THE YEAR THE WORLD ENDS, WOULDN’T YOU PREFER TO GO OUT AMONGST A GROUP OF GORGEOUS GIRLS IN SKIMPY CLOTHES TEASING YOU TILL YOUR PANTS BURST? HELL YEAH!!

Our 1st show back for the year saw us celebrating Australia Day. How more Aussie can you get, eating chicken schnitzels and drinking foreign ales whilst being entertained by women summoned from the exotic. Yes, that’s what we love about Australia. There are no traditions, so we can make our own! A multicultural mash up that brings you the best of, not one country, but all countries!

Our Host, Miss Juliette, gave us a Vegas style welcome, decked from head to toe in sequins and feathers. A tribute to our own showgirl, Kylie. See? Aussie.

Our 1st performer was a sweet Turkish delight. (We managed to snaffle this one whilst on holiday). Currently residing in London and performing at the world famous venue, “The Box”, Ferri Maya transported us to Mexico with her dance of “The Day of the Dead”. The audience were thrilled as this muscular dynamo writhed with coloured veils twisting around her perfectly toned body. A Mexican death mask covered the beauty’s face, adding a hint of mystery and danger to her act. This skeletal sex bomb cheekily fed her victims Doritos before revealing what lay beneath her embroidered velvet threads. As the South Americans would say…”Aye yi yi! Areeeba areeeba! Underlay!!! (Or are they just the words of Speedy Gonzales?) Anyways…
A SENSATIONAL ACT FROM A SENSATIONAL PERFORMER.

As the night rocked on with the smooth 70’s sounds of Bang Bang Boogie band, and cult Oz rock classics from our DJ Lil’ Roscoe, everyone slurped up the atmosphere and culture along with their heavily alcohol laden beverages.

Our regular eye popper, Kelly, took the stage by storm with a 1920’s flapper routine before shedding her fringes and began charlstoning her way through the crowd. Everyone loves a bit of audience participation, especially when Kelly is involved. She’s a ‘No Holds Barred’ kinda gal. Cheeky and sexy, she can get away with all that she dishes out. She has the audience in the palm of her hand, and when all is quiet and they go home to their beds… they will have thoughts of Kelly in the palms of their hands…

A few more games to play, a few more prizes to give away and few more broken. Hearts all leads up to the big finale. What would Australia Day be with out a bit of sport?
OUR SPORT OF CHOICE… JELLY WRESTLING!!

Our Babelicious Barmaids took to the blue jelly with true Aussie gusto! They wrestled with Grace and poise… Who am I kidding? They got down and they got dirty. They bit, they scratched, they pulled hair and if that wasn’t enough, they started to tear their opponents clothes!!! (Can you actually tear a bikini?)

All in the name of good ol’ Aussie recreation! So, if you weren’t at Schnitzel N Tits this Australia Day… “Where the bloody hell were ya?!”

Look out for the next Schnitzel N Tits extravaganza in February.