I have to say the last Schnitz ‘n tits was a huge night out!!!
The reason for all this frivolity, I hear you ask? You don’t need a reason to eat delicious chicken schnitzels and look at boobs!
However, it was a pre Australia day shindig. If you didn’t already have the whole week off at least you had one day to recover from the awesome amounts of alcohol that was consumed on the night!!!
Everyone that stepped through the door was ready for a big night of laughs, catching up with mates and having a big ol’ dinner with a few beers. Who knew what was in store?
Straight away we were greeted by our incredibly friendly “babelicious barmaids” who were not only gorgeous, but very efficient in getting us our drinks. The best part, of course, was that they too stripped down throughout the night. Friendly service and a great perv!!!
Our MC, Miss Juliette, with her off tap sense of humour, was our guide throughout the night, making us all feel as though we were a guest in her own ‘boudoir’. Her wit and one liners kept us all entertained as she roamed the room in her “getting to know you” segment and playing games such as “Whose Boobs?”.
Bring On The Schnits N Tits!!
Of course we were all waiting for the “Tits” part of the night to happen. And after our beautiful dinner, with our bellies full the most gorgeous girls came onto the stage. It was like a a food induced coma dream. A gorgeous blonde wrapped in her dressing gown, curlers in her hair, ironing her lingerie to a style of music I never knew existed except on something like “Leave it to Beaver”. (Kind of fitting, I guess). She’s disgruntled, she’s drunk… she’s horny!! Change of music! A windmill of long legs fan throughout the room. This hellcat housewife gyrated and pumped her way through the audience leaving tongues lapping at the floor. Everyone had to stop and take a breath after the performance of Miss Sarah George.
The next Beauty was a well known Melbourne dancer. “Kelly” did what she does best. Oozing sex appeal, she danced her way from stage to crowd wowing all with her amazing agility (How do someones legs go past their ears?). Her bold cheekiness had even the hardest of men becoming bashful, and don’t think the women are safe! Her lean body and long legs put the rest of us to shame. We all enjoyed her act but there was also a huge appreciation for great genetics.
And then the big Finale… Jelly wrestling!
The temperature soared as the testosterone and competitive nature kicked in, and in true Aussie fashion… one of the Jelly wrestlers called in a “sickie”. Luckily for all, a brave young woman from the audience was up for the task of getting slippery with some girl on girl action. Add a midget into the mix and the room literally exploded with excitement from the male (and female) contingent. Talk about going out with a Bang!!!!