Spring Luau – Hawaiian Burlesque Bonanza
The night is warm and the mood is good. The mixed gender crowd sport loud hawaiian gear with necklaces and head-dresses of flowers. Two guys in little fez hats – one on a retro organ, the other on trumpet and vocals – are playing upbeat lounge music from behind a bamboo Tiki Bar. Big tribal Kahuna masks guard each corner. Smiling girls in grass skirts and coconut bras glide between tables with booze laden trays and hot schnitzel dinners, swinging their hips. An MC, resplendent in blue floral shirt and tribal beads, springs to the stage. He strides back and forth before the tropical beach backdrop, struggling to make himself heard above party people…
As a last resort MC Evo gets the Babelicious Barmaids on stage for an introduction. Assembled eye candy in a sexy synchronised Hawaiian burlesque hula dance finally gets audience attention. VIPs are summoned to the spotlight to face off in some all new themed games..
Big Kahunas saw competitors rigged with a pair of poi dangling between their legs. On the buzzer they use hip movement to ‘swing their balls’ to knock over a series of milk bottles. Each were assigned a waitress to undress once the bottles were toppled. First to get the bottles over and the girl stripped wins.
Past buck Elliot had returned to show Schnitzel to his blushing bride Tara. He did her proud in this competition, winning when a confused Paolo undressed himself instead of the girl. Jessica swung her balls like she was born with them to beat Peter by a nad.
The intimate adventure that was Pass the coconut saw finalists Jessica and Elliot take it down to the wire in a complicated series of simulated pashes, hula hoop rotations and bra removals..
Jessica emerged victorious from this Tropical ‘Tough Mudder’ of Luau challenges!!
Jewel sparkled in this evening’s entertainment – blushing her way bravely through some blue heckles from the boys on table 1. (“Family Show‘ shouts MC Evo like an angry Dad). She took to the stage in denim shorts a la Ellie Mae Clampett and swung her ponytail and her booty to some arabian beats – putting me in mind of ‘I dream of Jeannie’. (Yes, Jewel’s Hawaiian Burlesque show is complex – layered with 60s TV influences:). Jewel’s golden ticket holder Jason from table 1 got some sugar and spice – a whipping on stage which drew cheers from his mates and broke his belt followed by spongebath shenanigans.
Frankie J Blaze is the reigning Miss Nude Australia . Whilst Frankie claimed to be shy in her Schnitzel n Tits debut.. her performance was anything but! Frankie drew inspiration for her Hawaiian Burlesque from a dream she’d had the night before. We loved seeing her dream brought to life as she whipped off her grass skirt, went wild with water balloons and pashed a girl from Jessica’s 24th birthday party.
Best On Ground
Kahuna Daddies – pumping the soundtrack to spring, bringing their lounge swing to our Hawaiian Burlesque, taking requests and setting the mood. Loved the trumpet solos!
Jessica – The svelte birthday babe who chose an unorthodox girls night out to celebrate – a great sport throughout!
Tara – Past Schnitzel Buck Elliott’s beautiful bride. Wore a very Luau appropriate tropical dress and when treated to an on-stage shot by Taylor returned the favour smoothly..much to audience delight! (If you ever need a job Tara..)
Paolo – The Latin lover from table 5 – underdog in the stage games but star of the hawaiian burlesque. All our showgirls seemed to want to get him involved!